


*An Exercise in Soulless Sam [AU]

by SweetSamOfMine (AudreeJo)



Series: Olivia [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU (not within the actual timeline, Awkward Flirting, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, NSFW, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Soulless Sam Winchester, Unresolved Sexual Tension, writing experiment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2618261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreeJo/pseuds/SweetSamOfMine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liv is confronted by an interested Soulless Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soulless

**Author's Note:**

> An anon asked what would happen if Soulless Sam met Liv, so I wrote this little ficlet as kind of a character-experiement. on Within my timeline, Olivia doesn’t actually come around until s7 but I guess, if for some reason Sam ended up Soulless again after that, it could go something like this....

Liv sat with her laptop on the table in the library, going over pages of lore, while Sam stood across the room at the book shelf doing the same, like usual. Except not like usual, because this was the first time they had worked a case together since Sam’s soul had been misplaced and their dynamic was still…. pretty confusing. Ever so often she’d catch him staring at her with this flirtatious, disarming smile that she wasn’t used to and she’d get unexpectedly wrapped up in it before she caught herself …kind of like right now.

"You  _have_  to stop looking at me like that,” she said, glancing up from the screen. Her cheeks burned. She tried to hide her smile but she had never been very good at that. 

"Like what?" Sam asked with a grin, shutting the book and taking a few strides towards her.

"Like that!" She pointed playfully, pushing her laptop away from her and jumping up out of her chair. "I know what that look means." 

"It means I want to sleep with you," he said flatly, smirk still on his face. Liv was pretty sure she’d never get used to this blunt version of Sam who was much too forthcoming with his thoughts. It made her heart race… or was that just  _him_ in general? He was unpredictable and new and it was just… really  _confusing_.

Her breath caught in her throat.”Yeah  _exactly_.” 

Sam came the rest of the way to stand across the table from her. “I’m confused,” —he pointed both hands to his temples— “because I have all these memories of—”

"Uh huh, okay. Yes," —she held up her hand to stop him, cheeks burning even more— "but those memories aren’t relevant right now. Okay?" She ended the sentence as sweetly as she could.

"So you’re not attracted to me without my soul?" He was genuinely asking.

"No… it’s not that—"

"So you  _are_  attracted to me?” He switched back to his flirty eyes again.

"Uhh… yes—"

"So….?" Sam’s hands made a  _so-what’s-the-problem-then?_  gesture.

"So… if I sleep with you while you’re like this, there won’t be any feelings."

"People can have sex just for fun, ya know," Sam leaned across the table, bracing himself with his hands to bring his face closer to her. Liv legit almost leaned in, too. "And from what I remember—"

"Yes, I know!" She exclaimed, trying to snap herself out of it.  _Jesus Liv, get it together!_  ”Peope can have flings and one night stands —assuming they take necessary precautions and do it responsibly— but…”

"Exactly!"

"I cannot have sex with you just .. for  _fun_!”

Sam stood back up straight and crossed his arms. 

"I’m not going to be one of your soulless flings, Sam!"

He nodded like he was processing this then offered a solution, “Well, what if I promise to just have exclusive flings with only you?”

"No!" Liv was actually laughing. "Then I’d just feel…  _used_.” She made a grossed-out face and shook her head.

Sam opened his mouth as if to say something then gave up, with a cocked eyebrow, humor smeared across his face.

"Look, I am still physically attracted to you… I mean, don’t think I haven’t thought about it." —Sam flirted a smile at her again— "But if I sleep with you, it would kind of feel like I’m cheating on you…. with … you?"

Sam screwed up his brows in a really perplexed expression. His mouth kind of hung open like he wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was. 

"I just don’t think it would be a smart idea."

"Okay," Sam replied with a sigh and a nod to show he understood. There was no irony in his voice when he continued with, " Wow. Having feelings really fucks people up." 

"Yeah," Liv agreed, slumping back into her chair. "You’re not wrong."


	2. Re-Souled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is frantic to find out how he treated Liv while Soulless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon sent me this after I posted the first Soulless AU ficlet: "YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT THERE! Now I want to know how they react to each other after Sam gets his soul back. :(" so I wrote a thing for when Sam gets his soul BACK, taking place a few weeks after the first chapter. Don’t ask me what happens in those few weeks in between or how Sam lost his soul in the first palce, bc HELL I don’t know, hahaha. :)

Sam charged into the library, eyes scanning the room until they landed on Liv. She jumped up off the squishy recliner by the bookshelves at the sight of this clearly distressed Sam, something she hadn’t seen in weeks. They both hesitated for a second, then Sam strode the rest of the distance of the room to Liv and folded her into his arms. Liv tensed up, surprised by this, but as the shock passed, her arms went around his waist and she buried her face in his chest. 

"So it’s you?" came from Liv’s mouth, muffled against Sam’s shirt. 

"Yes, yes it’s me." He pulled her back by the shoulders to look her over from head to toe, his hands traveling up and down her arms, her sides, her waist, examing her, like he was searching for something. Liv stood confused as he did this. "Did he harm you? Did he —did I— do anything—?"

Liv shook her head, “No! No, Sam. He —you— didn’t do anything to me.” Sam’s hands came up to her neck and gently tilted her chin one way, then the other, like he was looking for marks on her throat. “Sam!” She grabbed his hands away from her and pulled them down in front of her so he’d focus back on her face. “What are you doing?”

"I’m," —he blinked at her— "making sure you’re alright."

"I’m fine," she assured him, smiling and nodding so he’d know she wasn’t just saying that. "You were… actually kinda nice."

"He is  _not_  nice.”

"Well, I mean, he wasn’t polite, that’s true. But he was nice, in his way. You.  _You_  were nice.”

"The last time this happened he,  _I_ , did terrible things.”

"He did nothing terrible to me, Sam. He was  _really_  forward, but that’s about it—”

"Forward?" Sam’s brows raised in horror. "What do you mean?"

"He hit on me, but—"

"Did we…?"

"No, I told him it didn’t mean anything without being able to have feelings. That seemed to turn him off pretty quickly." Liv snorted.

"So… that was it? I didn’t get pushy?"

"No. You didn’t get pushy. He was really …cool about it actually. In fact, in his way he kind of asked me to go steady."

“ _What_?”

"Well… I mean, without your soul, you don’t  _get_  the idea of monogomy, you tend to just  _get_ what your body desires”  —Sam slunk ashamedly into the squishy chair and put his hands over his face with a groan— “But even so, he still offered to only exclusively sleep with me.” Liv couldn’t help but chuckle. She patted Sam on the back and leaned over trying to catch his eye through his fingers. “I told him thanks but no thanks.”

Sam pulled his head out of his hands abruptly and stared up at her with those sad, guilty, puppy eyes. “I’m  _so_  sorry, Liv! That’s disgusting.”

"Sam!" she crooned, and knelt beside him. "You couldn’t help it. I understand. I don’t blame you, or  _him_  even. This was no one’s fault. And, look, he could have chased any random waitress at a bar he wanted. But he came to me, first, and in his weird way, showed me I still matter to you even when you don’t have the ability to feel for people who matter. The offer to only  _fling_  with me was clearly a big deal because I learned quickly afterward, that was not his style—”

"Wait…" Sam sat straight up in the chair. "Do you mean that he… Did I —sleep with other girls?"

Liv was stricken for only a second, but she shook it off. “Yeah,” she sighed, sadly. “Yeah, that happened.” Sam seemed to physically wane.  _As if he needs to put something else that isn’t his fault on his conscience_. ”He,  _you_ , had these memories of us — _together_ — so he checked with me first. I turned him down. He respected my choice. He went with the most logical next option to fulfill his… need, or whatever.” She paused, cocking her eyebrow as she remembered a particularly odd quirk about the soulless version of Sam, “If it makes you feel any better, you felt compelled to assure me you were consistently using protection each time.”

Sam looked utterly appalled. “Livvy, I don’t know what to say.”

"There is nothing you need to say. It wasn’t your fault."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it’s true." She smoothed some of Sam’s hair behind his ear.

"I just," Sam looked everywhere but at her. " _I’m so sorry._ ”

"I know," Still in her crouched position next to the chair, she leaned in and kissed his face. "You’re always sorry, even when you have no blame." Gratitude flickered in his eyes. Liv sighed, her face getting serious. "I’m so glad you’re back, Sam," she whispered. "I missed your scrunchy, concerned face."

He reached down and yanked her up into a big hug. She collapsed in his lap, half-cradled by this giant man who was as tender as child. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Sam nestled his head under her chin, against her chest. Her heart beat was steady. There was nothing confusing about this.


	3. Giving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and Soulless Sam sleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All this  _[Soulless](http://sunflowerchester.tumblr.com/post/128031357104/takeitoffwinchester-soulless-sam-does-what) and [sex](http://sunflowerchester.tumblr.com/post/128056250629/semirahrose-sunflowerchester-okay-i)_  talk and _[Sam and sex](http://themegalosaurus.tumblr.com/post/128516817248/the-sexual-prowess-of-sam-fucking-winchester-an)_  talk had me curious about what the differences would be for someone who has slept with Sam in both states, so I wrote a drabble about it. Yeah, that’s right, I wrote a slightly dirty (nsfw) little drabble exploring Sam’s sex style through the eyes of a sexual partner. 
> 
> This was inspired by all three posts I linked to above, as well as the song “Animal” by The Cab, and a little bit by Jared’s “Soulless Sam was a tiger” comment, too. 
> 
> Thanks to [themegalosaurus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/themegalosaurus/pseuds/themegalosaurus) for being my beta!

As Sam’s hands slid down the sides of her body then gripped her ass tight to hoist her up, Liv was taken by surprise at how familiar it all felt. Yes, it was  _his_  body, it was  _his_  brain, but he was still missing a pretty fundamental part of himself which is why she had tried to keep herself from participating in activities just like this until they could figure out how to fix him. However, as Sam pressed her firmly against the wall behind her, his hot breath on her neck, her fingernails digging slightly into his back, this was as sure as Liv had been since he was first separated from his soul that  _this_  Sam was still  _Sam_.

But there were unavoidable differences as they fell onto the bed. Sam’s sweet eyes were gone, replaced by the cold ones this new Sam wore. They glistened with hunger and determination and something else Liv couldn’t place at first. She later realized in spectacular fashion that it was self confidence.  

Sam’s recent inability to feel emotions put a cap on the intimacy Liv was used to, but he kept her too preoccupied with other things for her to feel too bad about it. He used the images from memories of his time with Liv as a cheat sheet. He knew just what to do.

Everything happened at a much faster pace. He moved his hands up and down Liv’s body, pinning her with his weight, dragging his lips across her skin, striking at every one of her buttons without warning, without any echo of the insecurity that followed the Sam she was used to around. There was nothing but complete assurance as he moved, showcasing his size and the ripples of his body. He had a job to do and he was on a mission to see it done and he knew he looked good while he worked. It was like he was in a race with his old self, and without the hindrance of tenderness, the Sam that was currently flinging Liv’s panties from the bed seemed like he would reach the finish line first.

She felt Sam jerk her body into position. The hands that were usually so attentive when touching her gripped her a bit too tight. She didn’t mind. She enjoyed watching his rigid muscles flex around her as he worked towards his own gratification, something Sam didn’t usually make a show of. This Sam did. There was no shame in how he adjusted her legs so he could thrust at just the exact angle he wanted, no question in his eye wondering if that was okay or not, no hesitation to hide the heightened pleasure on his face as he blew out sharp breaths through wet lips. He didn’t care to wonder if that move was alright. He knew it would curl her fingers around the bars of the headboard as she arched back against the bed to lean into it. He knew it would extract a gasp, then a whimper, and that would turn into extended groans as he continued his work to the end. His startling assertiveness didn’t overwhelm her. It made her feel desired. It made her feel sexy. It all worked together for a very confusing, surprising experience.

After Liv caught her breath and wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead, she rolled over to face Sam where he had collapsed next to her on the bed. He was already sitting up, kicking his legs over the side of the bed, ready to get dressed and move on with the day. Wrapped in her sheet, she crossed the bed to come to his side.

Sam paused, feeling her hands around his bicep. He stayed seated and sighed. He was glad that she had finally decided to sleep with him but he wasn’t looking forward to the possibility of the emotional confusion that would most likely follow. He furrowed his brow and stared down at her, dreading the onslaught of words that meant feelings that he could not really compute or requite.

She gripped his arm for a second more as they stared at each other, wordlessly. Then one of her hands went up to push some hair away from his face; she dragged her thumb across his cheek; and her features resolved into an unreadable expression. What was she feeling? He saw images in his memory bank of Liv’s faces that looked similar but what did they mean? And more importantly, what was he supposed to express back to her? If he could have felt, he would have felt annoyed at the moment, but as it was he just reflected that the staring and face touching was a waste of time.

Then, much to Sam’s surprise, he saw a look on Liv’s face that he  _did_  understand. She narrowed her eyes.

“Fuck me again,” she growled. Her smile was crooked.

Sam felt himself already begin to harden. It wasn’t often that he was caught off guard but his face only betrayed his shock for a second before his hands were on her body again. Liv flung the sheet aside as Sam descended upon her to oblige her request. He felt her grip his hair a bit too tightly right at the nape of his neck. Another welcome surprise.

Round two took longer for them both. Liv’s body shuddered as she came, hovering over Sam with her hands braced against the headboard above him. Sam’s hands dropped from her breasts towards her hips to guide them back and forth, again and again, more rapidly, furiously, until he thrust upward into her a final time, his entire body going rigid. Liv shuddered a second time, sharp moans overwhelmed by her heavy breathing.

She slid off of him to the side, trying to compose herself and catching her breath once again. She knew Sam would soon be off the bed and out of the room; most likely, without a word. As her breathing regulated and her mind wandered, she started dozing off and soon she had fallen asleep.

Since losing his soul, Sam never slept. He had no use for a bed except for what he had just used one for. Twice. He always hoped whoever he was with would fall straight to sleep so he could sneak out without being questioned as to why and where he was going, without having to deal with the pitiful display that was human desperation.  

Sam watched Liv’s chest rise and fall in the rhythm of her breathing. His calculating eyes didn’t blink or sweeten but he continued to observe her. For what, he wasn’t sure. He sat forward away from the headboard, eyes scanning over her shoulder, down to her hand that lay limp next to him. He should get up and get dressed.

He reached for her wrist, delicately so as not to wake her, and placed his thumb on her pulse. He found it instantly. The blood pumping through her from the heart that beat in her chest, the rhythm that kept her alive. His cold eyes scanned across her body again. He set her arm back down gingerly and got up off the bed. He stared for another moment, then threw the blanket across her, and got dressed.  

He made for the door and opened it but turned back before stepping through. He watched her for just a second more, bringing his thumb up to feel his own pulse. He blinked then walked out, shutting the door behind him.


End file.
